I wouldn’t say that I having to "try harder", in order to "catch up" as if it's a linear objective thing, because I was diagnosed later, tells the whole story. I would even say that part of why people like me get missed so much is because autism is so frequently seen as synonymous with being behind in every way possible.

At least for me, I see it as a splintered-inconsistent thing. There have been certain things that have come easier to me than most NTs. I taught myself to read at age 3. In middle school, I was more interested in doing calculus problems and practicing my instrument several hours a day, which allowed me to finish high school two years early, instead of succumbing to peer pressure and going to parties. Just yesterday at work, my boss was amazed that I was able to catch certain details in their vinyl quality control process that people far more experienced missed.

On the other hand, it took me until the age of about 20 to figure out that "How are you?" is an instance of phatic speech and not a literal question, I got made fun of for being the last one to tie my shoes at school, and have struggled for over 10 years to build the professional network I've always wanted. Growing up, adults, especially teachers, felt threatened when I knew more than them, or inadvertently challenged them to think about their subject area in ways they hadn't before, particularly because I saw no social hierarchy between me and them.

You're right, you can't compare people strictly on the basis of age of diagnosis. In theory, it would have been great for me to get diagnosed at 2 instead of 22, but I also know what I would have gotten in the way of support back in the late 90's might have been traumatizing in and of itself. Neither set of experiences is "a privilege". There are too many variables involved to make this a cut and dry metric.