I think society's views on autism are what's creating the grief in the first place. If it weren't such a sensationally stigmatized condition, people wouldn't feel like their kid's life is already over just as it's beginning. This is why I think this needs some degree of pushback. Grief, fundamentally, is for the dead and dying.

That's also not to mention how a great deal of autistic people, including autistic parents must feel when they see that people like them are being grieved over while alive for simply existing. I know I have felt pretty shitty when I have read parents' grief posts about their kids and know I'd feel 10x worse if I found out my parents had felt any grief over me as a person. Where's the empathy for that?

Furthermore, I've also noticed from my lurking in autism parenting spaces that this grief process is prioritized over how it might marginalize autistic parents of autistic children in those spaces who might not want to show up to a parenting forum being sent the message that their life is worth mourning over and having to do the emotional labor of navigating another parent reacting this way without receiving any affirmation in return.