Positivity as a Demand

Here’s why so many people view me as a negative person.

What often happens when people tell me to stay positive. And yes, I had to think long and hard about what these facial expressions meant. Photo by Nik on Unsplash

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If you’ve read anything about the PDA profile (Pathological Demand Avoidance), you likely were presented with at least one anecdote about a small child who immediately wrecked the living room while hurling insults at the top of their lungs as soon as one of their parents suggested they wear shoes outside. Furthermore, if you’ve spent any length of time in disability spaces, you’ve likely come across the idea that society often tries to guilt us into toxic positivity. It recently occurred to me that these two concepts join together for me in very insidious ways that often leave me pushing back against the notion of positivity in unexpected and sometimes detrimental ways.

The lightbulb moment

Not too long ago, I was watching a pre-recorded information session for the only disability-oriented career development program I have ever felt any shred of excitement about. This is a state-funded program that focuses on the arts for a change instead of the typical 9 to 5 corporate and entry-level retail faire. At some point, one of the leaders of the program brought up how happy the participants have always been to engage in projects within the program. It was at…